When we first published this article, we stole from LHJ's popular feature and called it, "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" That's when a friend and client suggested that if we were talking about art, we probably should keep it a little lighter and more positive, and so we willingly agreed and changed it to its current title. We won't go as far as to tout the healing powers of art, but we will say that the process of purchasing art with your spouse should be exciting, pleasurable and non-stressful. We hope that with this article, and by creating a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere at the gallery, we can help make it that way.
Couples:If you cannot agree on art, you are not alone!We can’t tell you the number of times we’ve had couples in the gallery who’ve been stymied in their desire to buy art because they couldn’t agree on paintings.In fact, we’d say it’s rare to find a couple who have the same taste in art.That’s because art is so personal and our reasons for being attracted to it are so varied.There is no formula for buying art, except to buy what you love.So if you can’t agree on what you love, you could have a problem, and not be able to buy anything.To avoid the naked wall or the compromised mediocrity syndromes, we humbly offer the ten step process for buying art and healing your art differences.
Start with the easy ones.Too often, the subject of the battle is “The Big” painting over the mantel or in the front hall.So why don’t you hold off on that? There’s probably several smaller pieces that you could agree on that won’t break the bank and that will ease you into starting your collection.
Buy on trips:It somehow seems much easier to find art in common when you’re buying it away from home, especially if there are wonderful memories involved.Don’t worry if you don’t know where it will go; if you love it, buy it.It will be a great start from which to build a collection.And if you start with something that you both like, it will be easier to build on to.
Try to understand your differences but don’t emphasize them.Often we hear, “He likes this and I like that” as if there were a his and her way of appreciating art and no way of bridging the two.Let’s find out what the commonalities are and then let’s try to find some paintings that incorporate both.
Ask the gallery owner to help explain things:How often do we hear that one loves the abstract, edgier paintings and the other will say, “Why don’t we just give Susie (their 4 year old) a paint brush, and she’ll do as good a job?”Please ask us to help explain the abstract painting for you.What is the artist conveying?How did he/she paint it? Why is it compositionally interesting? What does it mean to you? Why is it art?
Attend openings together and mix a little wine with art.Take the pressure off and make it fun.
Meet the artist:If at all possible, meeting the artist gives the art an added dimension that goes beyond the composition, color, subject or style of the piece.It really brings the art to life and is another common bond for you both.
Pick your battles:Does one of you feel more strongly about this?Then let that person drive the decision.But make sure the other person gets a room, or two.Basement doesn’t count.
Take turns:He picks this time; she picks the next.Or do birthdays:Let her choose for her birthday and tell her that you would like to choose for your birthday.You each have one birthday a year.What’s fair is fair.
Or divide up your rooms.We actually don’t recommend this, because we advocate buying what you love instead of buying for a space.But if he spends most of the time in the family room, and she prefers the living room, it only makes sense to let him or her pick the art for each.Remember, you don’t need to do everything all at once.
Emphasize the positive.Instead of saying, “Oh no, I hate that” when he picks something out, ask him, “What do you like about it?What speaks to you?”Then see if you can find something that you like that will speak to him in the same way.
Try them at home.We’re more than happy to have you take the art home and live with it for a day or two.This takes the pressure offmaking decisions in the gallery and allows you to see it in its environment
Don’t go for the 100%.We’re not saying you need to compromise completely. But we do firmly believe that art can grow on you over time, and we’ve seen it happen over and over.If you are intrigued by it, but you don’t love the colors, why don’t you give it a try?Often, as you get to appreciate other aspects of the painting, the one thing you didn’t like will fade away or sometimes even become your favorite thing.Give it the benefit of the doubt.Art is a funny thing.Before long, it just may tug at your heart.